Thursday, August 19, 2010

It's sad to say no this time

I had a dream last night. the dream was picturing me wearing a regalia with big graduation hat, holding a kid in my arms and my husband's hands around my waist.
this is good if it is real but i know it is not an easy step for me to jump in.
after i have been confirmed pregnant last 3 weeks, my husband and I had a deep thinking regarding me continuing my master/phd in geology (particularly in sedimentation along Kuantan to Kuala Pahang River with the effect of monsoons in East Coast Malaysia)....

I have prepared the research proposal, and I have met my supervisor-to-be. My supervisor-to-be has also give feedback to the proposal I wrote( he said it was ok except for the literature review part that need some improvement and honestly I feel so happy when he sms-ed me telling that my proposal was ok)..
In order for me to pursue my dreams to hold a Dr (Philosophy) title, I would have to sacrifice lots of things:
1) Leave my current job as processing geophysicist ( I have been working for 1 year and 4months now)
2) Move to Kuantan since I will do my research at this area (based in UIA Kuantan)
3) High chances to move back to overseas in order for me to pursue my Phd later on.
4)My husband has to leave his current job as processing geophysicist as well & find a new suitable job that suite his qualification as EE. And to be specific, the job has to be in Kuantan so that both of us [+ kid(s)] don't have to be in long distance family relationship.

Thus, having these in my mind, and so many other things to be considered (especially financial and a baby to join my husband and me in less than 8 months to come), I have sadly decided not to take this offer from UIA at this moment. I believe, if I really want (and determined), Allah will lead the best way for me.InsyaAllah I will get the chance again.Maybe not in the near future(2-5yrs). I can wait another 10 years to come if holding a Dr(Philosophy) is already written as my fate by Allah. If not, it's fine. There are greater things to come in my life other than this, InsyaAllah.May the barakah of Ramadhan leads me to the right and best decision. and Thank You Abang for always be there when I really need you. Though there are (of course) ups and down, but I believe we both have take the best decision for our future.
In order to make me feels better, I have look at these pictures several times, saying to myself that I had already make my parents proud once by holding a degree from Australia (im not being riak here), so it's ok if I didn't get the Dr title yet.Not now.

Mak helping me to put on the graduation hat on the morning before my degree convocation(12.02.2009)

Prof Dr Ian Fitzsimons and me at Geology School, Curtin (12.02.2009)

Mak and Me before the caremony (12.02.2009)

Ayah and me before the caremony(12.02.2009)

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