Wednesday, November 27, 2019

My Dear ārba'a Baby

Dearest sayang,

You are now 23 weeks inside ummi. Umi dah mula rasa your movement inside me.
I can only feel your profound movement about three weeks ago. I was worried back then since your brothers' and sister's movement were felt so much earlier than 20 weeks.

We went for a check-up with Dr. Anjalai when you were about 16-17 weeks and we can really see you are active inside me. Alhamdulillah. We saw your face. You look alike with Abang Iyaadh. So cute! We also knew your gender at that time! Alhamdulillah. Umi and Ayah were happy and bersyukur.


The beginning of your pregnancy was easy in terms of I don't have any sickness at all. Almost none.
But I easily got tired. By 8pm, I felt like I need to sleep till morning. Of course, I can't do that. Your brothers and sister need to eat etc. There are some times that Umi has to handle the house and the kids alone with you inside me. I feel so tired that I cried before I go to bed. During the first trimester jugak lah Umi always had leg cramp while sleeping. It's very painful and usually, Ayah will help to reduce the pain and give comfort. Ayah finally bought me a bottle of 600mg Calcium and I have been consuming it every other day. Luckily the cramp went away.

My Arba'a Baby,

Umi really loves you. I really wanted you. To accompany me in this world. You may have know this, Umi is actually furthering my study in PhD level. And to that reason, Umi feels bad that for it actually. Because Umi sekarang banyak fokus dgn my own study, and also with your brothers' and sister's need apart from focusing on you. Umi eats a lot of sweet food like cakes and chocolate. And I am bloated now. Without releasing how much the sugar will give a negative impact on you. I promise to eat more healthy food after this for your sake. And I will not skip taking the supplements to ensure you grow well. Oh, this week and next week, Umi kena repeat check up dekat KKIA. because I gained too much weight in a month. The nurses are worried I might have diabetes of high bp.

Umi never forget to pray for your well being inside me, setiap kali solat Umi selitkan doa untuk my dearest arba'a baby as well for your sister and brothers. semoga anak2 umi semua sihat termasuk yang berada di dalam kandungan umi.
Sekarang ni Umi busy dengan abang-abang dan kakak ...nanti dah selesai dorang masuk sekolah semua.. Umi mula prepare for your arrival ya. It is so exciting thinking of it. InsyaAllah we'll try to prepare the best for you.

With that, Umi has to stop writing and start my work. You will arrive somewhere in March 2020. We will start fasting in April and celebrating our first raya in May , InsyaAllah. During that time, Umi will need to submit and present my research progress too. So, Umi has to prepare from now.

Love you sayang, my Arba'a baby.

You were 17 weeks few days when Umi took this picture. 

Tuesday, August 27, 2019

Selepas setahun sebagai PhD student....

Rasanya ialah LONELY!
Tak tau la orang lain yg dalam journey yang sama mcm I ni rasa ke tak perasaan lonely ni..
Lonely bukan sebab tak ada kawan, bukan sebab tak ada keluarga.
Lebih kepada Lonely sebab rasa mcm diri ni seorang je ke yg tgh buat benda ni.
Research ni nak rujuk dekat siapa?
Siapa boleh tolong jawabkan apa yg kusut dalam kepala ni?
Ini penyebab utama rasa Lonely ni.

Kadang-kadang bersembang dengan husband pasal research..
Iyalah, dia pun cuba sedaya upaya nak memahami..
Secara am nya dia fahamlah apa yg I plan to do, sedang buat ..
Cuma in details kita nak terangkan pun nanti dia tak faham jugak,
sebab kita sendiri pun tak berapa nak faham. hahahaha

Bila baca kisah pelajar PhD, kebanyakkan menulis cabaran masing-masing.
I pun sama, tak lari dari cabaran-cabarannya. But bukanlah cabaran yg besar, bukanlah terlalu berat.
Setiap yg berlaku pasti ada hikmahnya, dan kena sentiasa think positive, look at the problem on the brighter side.
Setelah setahun bergelar pelajar PhD, dugaan utama actually nak memahami konsep dan nak siapkan kerja dgn cepat supaya dapat habis cepat. This is my biggest challenge, which actually comes from myself sendiri.

I dapat cuti belajar 3 tahun, which means, sekarang tinggal lagi 2 tahun je lagi.
I juga tertakluk pada syarat graduation iaitu kena publish 2 papers dalam scopus index journals.
Publish ye, bukan sekadar submit.
Ini semua dah jadi kebiasaan universiti di Malaysia, untuk mengejar KPI uni masing-masing.
Pelajar agak tertekan actually. But do we have a choice?  rather than just to embrace it.

Supervisor
I dah 3 kali tukar main supervisor.
Bukan sebab tukar topic. Alhamdulillah topic masih maintain yg sama sejak dari register sehingga sekarang.
SV pertama cuma bertahan selama 4-5 bulan je, lepas tu dia pencen (kontrak x disambung).
SV kedua bertahan untuk 7 bulan. Tetapi his existence is more like pemberi markah dan signature apabila perlu.
SV ketiga, merangkap my co-sv initially just begins his part as main sv about a month ago.
But so far so good , relationship dgn dia ok, scientific discussion going on well.
Cuma , biasa lah, setiap yg results yg kita share, pasti akan di komen untuk penambah baikkan.
Bersyukur jugak lah, walaupun in the beginning part supervision ni mcam menampakkan jalan buntu.

My field sv is still the same. Which was my sv masa buat MSc dulu. Just that he is far in Paris. jarang2 we all contact but I send him email once in a while to keep him updated.


I have submitted two abstracts for conferences. Satu kena reject, satu accepted.
InsyaAllah tak ada aral, akan present dan publish paper dekat conference ni.

Also, I'm pregnant with my no 4 now!
Tak tau nak gelak happy or gelak sedih.
Both actually.
Happy lah sebab nak bertambah ahli keluarga.
Cuma cuak berdebar memikirkan mampu ke nak siapkan PhD ni dlam tempoh cuti yg berbaki lagi 2 tahun je lagi.
Bila fikir jadi stress rasa nak kena push study study.
Balik rumah je cita-cita tinggi nak kena stay up or bangun awal untuk ulang kaji.
But, end up, I tidor dgn nyeyak sebab penat sgt badan.

I'm still in my first trimester and Iyaadh is still bottle feeding and on diaper Itu jugk mungkin punca penat yg extra sbb malam-malam still bangun bancuhkan susu dia.

well, till then.

gtg.


Wednesday, August 21, 2019

Museum Hopping: Terowong Sg Lembing


Hi guys,

Lepas visit Muzium Sg Lembing, kitaorg ke Terowong Sg Lembing. 
Dari muzium nak ke kawasan terowong ni kena mendaki sikit. Ke atas bukit. 
Kalau drive, jalan tu tak lebar sgt, so perlu be extra careful. 

Ada good space for parking dekat depan kawasan terowong sg lembing. so don't worry about parking. 
Disediakan jugak satu cafe kecik dan kedai jual souvenir dekat kawasan jual tiket. 
Oh ya, harga tiket untuk masuk sedikit mahal compare dgn harga tiket untuk muzium sg lembing. 
Satu faktornya disebabkan nak maintenance penjagaan lombong ni must be quite costly kan. 
Malaysian citizen dapat extra discount. 



Kepanjangan terowong sebenar actually 322km. Ada beberapa level ke dalam tanah. Tapi sekarang semua level dah dibanjiri air, tinggal level paling atas je yg masih preserved dan digunakan untuk tujuan touristic. 

Thursday, August 15, 2019

Museum Hopping: Muzium Sg. Lembing, Pahang, Malaysia


Welcome to Sg Lembing, a small town in Pahang. It took us about 30-40 minutes by car from Kuantan to reach this small town of Sg Lembing. And we were welcome by this large pintu gerbang. 

Entering Sg Lembing brings back the memory of old kampung style. Everything here is still preserved like the olden days. 

Their first taekwondo competition

Assalamualaikum. 

It has been ages since I last wrote in my blog. Apology! 
Since mid year 2018, my elder two dah join taekwondo class secara official dengan TKD Academy based in Seri Iskandar. Imani was 5 yrs old and Ilyaas was 7 yrs old. 

On November 2018, both of them join the grading untuk naik ke belt kuning from belt putih. Masa tu both myself and my husband were not around since we were in Saudi performing our umrah. So, my parents help to arrange their logistic to attend the grading. 

Early February 2019, both Ilyaas and Imani selected untuk join inter-house taekwondo competition with other participants from Perak (under the same taekwondo Academy). 

Ilyaas join for his category and fight twice. 


This was Ilyaas getting some tips from his coach right before the competition

Thursday, May 16, 2019

Pengalaman Memasuki Raudhah seorang diri (buat wanita)

Assalamualaikum semua, 

Maaf sangat2 lambat betul nak update blog about my first umrah trip. It has been 6 months since the trip. InsyaAllah selagi ingatan masih kuat, dpt saya coretkan di blog ini. 

Harini sy nak share bagaimana jemaah wanita ingin memasuki Raudhah secara sendirian berhad. 
Tanpa peneman iaitu adik, kakak atau ibu. Semua sedia maklumkan keadaan di dalam Raudhah terutamanya di tempat wanita sangatlah terhad. Karpet hijau di bahagian wanita sedikit sahaja, selebihnya karpet merah. Jadi ianya sgt sinonim dengan terlalu sesak dan risiko ditindis oleh jemaah lain yg kadang2 agak fanatik. 

Saya kongsikan pengalaman pertama kali saya memasuki Raudhah secara sendiri. 

1.Yg utama minta izin dari suami/mahram untuk memasuki Raudhah secara sendirian. 

Pengalaman saya, suami agak keberatan untuk benarkan. Bukan dia tak nak bagi, tapi dia risaukan keselamatan saya. Ini first time sy ke Madinah dan Masjid Nabawi yg sangat besar itu. 
Dan daripada cerita saya tentang keadaan di dalam Raudhah pertama kali saya memasuki dengan group travel agent, suami rasa berat hati utk biarkan saya sendirian. 
Saya nekad untuk terus memujuk suami di samping kat dlm hati berdoa supaya Allah yakinkan suami sy yg saya boleh pergi sendiri tanpa peneman. 
Strategi utk pujuk suami pon mainkan peranan jugak lah. 

Sy ni jenis nak sesuatu tu (yg baik) sy pasti akan do my best. hehe. 

sebelum tidor, saya dah mintak izin, ckp elok2. suami x bg. 
then tidurlah saya sambil doa supaya Allah permudahkan. 
bangun pagi, first thing celik mata terus sy tanya, boleh kan abang izinkan sy pergi ke Raudhah selepas Subuh harini? 

Dia tak jawab. 
Selesai bersiap untuk ke Masjid Nabawi, saya mula pakai jubah hitam, tudung hitam, dan NIQAB

Suami nampak kesungguhan sy .. 
Saya tambah pakai CELAK supaya mata saya kelihatan seperti orang Arab. 

Monday, February 25, 2019

Hari Pertama di Kota Madinah-Nov 2018

Bismillahirahmanirrahim. 

Assalamualaikum wbt. Harini, saya nak menulis tentang pengalaman saya menjejakkan kaki ke Kota Mandinah Al Munawwarah, di Arab Saudi, dalam kunjungan ziarah ke Kota Rasulullah SAW sepanjang tempoh kembara rohaniah di Arab Saudi. 

Perjalanan bermula pada Jumaat, 16 November 2018. 
Ini umrah pertama buat saya. Perasaan bercampur baur. Gembira, Takut. Sedih. 
Semuanya ada. 
Saya pergi dengan suami, mak dan ayah mertua, serta seorang adik ipar, Awa. 

Itinerary kami ke Madinah dulu, dan pulang dari Jeddah. 
Sewaktu mendarat di Kota Madinah, jam sudah lebih kurang pukul 10malam (waktu Saudi). 

Proses imigresen sangat sangat lah mudah. Syukur Allah mudahkan.
Saya jadi antara orang pertama dalam rombongan kami yg dapat keluar.
Sementara menunggu bagasi keluar, kami solat dulu. Ruang surau bersih dan selesa. 
Surau juga sama floor dengan ruang menunggu bagasi. 
Habis solat, bagasi dah siap di keluarkan dan kami menunggu ahli rombongan yang lain untuk menaiki bus. Bus yg disediakan oleh pihak Andalusia memang dah sedia menunggu. Airport pon tak terlalu sibuk sangat, jadi proses berjalan lancar untuk kesemua ahli rombongan. 

Dalam bus nak ke hotel, Ustaz Hafiz menceritakan serba sedikit tentang sejarah Kota Madinah. 
Dari kejauhan, dah boleh nampak terang benderang Kota Madinah Al Munawwarah ni. 
Bercahaya sgt. dengan langit malam yg indah. 
Kami melalui tepi Perkuburan Baqi', perkuburan ahli syurga sebelum sampai ke hotel. 

Selepas check in, semua ahli rombongan diberikan Nasi Arab dan air mineral sebelum masuk ke bilik masing2. Walaupun dah almost tengah malam, kitaorg makan jugak nasi arab yg sgt sedap tu. Lebih kurang jam 1pg, semua tidur dan kami bangun semula jam 3pg untuk bersiap2 ke Masjid Nabawi. 
Tak sabarnya rasa hati untuk berada sgt dekat dengan Baginda Rasulullah. 
Walaupun badan penat, tapi keseronokkan berada di Kota Madinah lain rasanya. 
Hilang penat bila dapat memasuki perkarangan Masjid Nabawi. 

Subuh pertama di Masjid Nabawi

Solat Subuh di sini tanpa bacaan doa Qunut. Jadi, tak perlu rasa hairan buat yg pertama kali mcm saya ni. Dewan solat mmg sgtlah penuh. tp Alhamdulillah kami dpt jugak berada di antara saf depan. Kebiasaannya, kami solat di dewan solat melalui pintu 16. 

Tips for research proposal defense

Assalamualaikum,

After about 7 months registered as a PhD student, I managed to present my research proposal for the proposal defense on 15th February 2019. It was Friday morning and was attended by three panels.

Started at around 10.10am and end up at 11.30.
Almost 1 hr 30 minutes jugaklah.

Of course, I was sweating throughout the presentation and can't wait for the final slide to appear on the screen.

I had actually submitted my research proposal to the panels of examiners on 30th Jan, allowing them at least two weeks to go through the proposal in written format.

Overall, I passed the proposal and the examiners agreed with what has been proposed.

They also suggested some improvement in the methodology, to be more quantitative in terms of extracting the porosity values using QI and velocity data.
I am yet to explore on that part.

It was a relief somehow that I passed the RPD without much alteration on the proposal but also explains that I only have 2.5 yrs to go.  Alhamdulillah and Allahuakbar.

No picture was taken on this day, haha.

If you asked me for tips to do RPD, a little I can share are listed below:

1. Wake up early that morning. If possible, make it a routine to wake up early.
If you are a Muslim, perform Tahajud Prayer and make lots of doa.
Recite Al-Quran. This will help you to feel calm.

2. Had a glance through at your presentation slides around 1-2 hrs before the real presentation.

3. Upload your slides and proposal in any drive on the internet. I used OneDrive.
You can also opt for GoogleDrive, Dropbox etc. This will be your back-up.

4. Download the slides from the drive, into the computer at the presentation room. Avoid using USB in public used computer. To reduce the chances of virus/malware transfer. Go through the slides once more in the presentation room. If the room is not available a few hrs before the presentation, try to familiarize the room a few days before the presentation.

5. Make sure your research proposal in written format is ready prior to the presentation, even if the examiners did not read it, it shows that you are ready
It also made you look more confident.

6. It would be great if you have preliminary results, or testing analysis and present it during the proposal defense. With this, the examiners can really see how far you are in your research and to give more confidence in your proposed methods.

7. It is very OK if your preliminary results are not what you expected. If it is showing the unexpected way from what you actually want, report it. Make sure not to repeat the same mistake, procedures, investigate it. This is what we call as research.

8.  Literature review: Be critical. Do not just cite and rephrase. Example: There are several proposed models by different authors. Mentioned all (or if too much, the most significant to your area), then state which model do you prefer, and why. Also mention that throughout your research, you will be based on this model etc. Same goes to several opinions in some matters.

9. Do not argue with the examiners. Keep calm if they did not agree with what you presented. Say politely your opinions and thanked them for giving the feedbacks(even if it is lame feedback).

10. Smile. Hide your nervousness and dress well to keep yourself confident. after all, you are the subject matter of expert for the research you plan to conduct.


Till then,

Love,
Athi