Whenever I need a motivation

I don't know if this appropriate  post in cherish every cherry. I think somehow it is more suitable to be posted in the babysteps to my dreams. Nevertheless, it's mine,so tak kisah lah dimana-mana pun post ini berada.

It's already November,already 8 months after I registered myself as  a fulltime research student for Master. Yet, the progress is little. I don't know. Sometime, I think my progress is ok, even though it's not meeting my original timeline. But sometime, I feel lost. Lost in the middle of the research. Don't know where to go after this, where to start, where to continue and where to stop.

Sometime, I feel like I didn't care much about my research, but spending more time thinking and doing other things especially when the matters are about Ilyaas and my pregnancy. If Ilyaas is not well, I can't concentrate on my research. I tend to take half day off from research, or even full day off from research.

I plan to stay -up late during the night, or wake up early in the morning to study or read something. But, end up I sleep as early as Ilyaas, and woke up in normal time. I feel so frustrated with myself. I can't deny that being pregnant again, I always feel tired and easily falls asleep.

Another thing is, I always feel I failed as a student. I failed as a wife, I failed as an umi. Because I can't be a superwoman to both my husband and my son. I fall asleep earlier. I didn't cook bombastic delicious food. I didn't clean the house every day. I didn't spend quality time to my son. I let him throws his tantrum. A

But, whenever I feel like this, I know I just need motivations and positive thinking. And just need a me-time with Allah. Spend more time with prayers and duas.

And I do read Kak Azza's blog many many times. Cause she's really an inspiration to me.

And recently, my sil attends her phd convocation. That is also another inspiration for me.

And of course, my other sil who already a phd dr long time ago. she's another inspiration.

If these people, and lots more people out there can do it.InsyaAllah, I can do it too!

I learn that, no matter how long you take to get what you really dream of, if you keep on walking and doing it, you'll surely get it.

Take one step at a time. Ignore what people said if they make negative comments. Only take those positive comments.

I'm the one in this journey.