Thursday, October 29, 2009


i really miss my mum now.
i want to sleep next to her.
i want to cuddle her.
i want to talk to her.
i want her.

i miss u mum.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

ain't life wonderful?

this one whole week has been very packed and busy for me. i got my presentation topic on Tuesday and has to present it by 9.00am Thursday morning which me I have less than 48hours to prepare for the test. So, struggling begin since Tuesday night. Both me and my very best person stay up in the office for both Tuesday and Wednesday night.

Presenting the muting test on Thursday morning was a big relieved to me. All the pain i felt on my neck gone right after the presentation though it wasn't a good one. Thank God it was done. Right after office hour on Thursday, I do the thing I enjoy most--> Swimming! again, another relieved and relaxing moment of the week after whole load stress I felt since Monday!

And Saturday (today) is a best day even though it is tiring! Guest what? I went out for a nature walk plus minus 16km in MacRitchie Reservoir with my favorite person in the world. Oh, i like outdoor activities more and more know since it is worth sharing this interest with someone worth to live with. Even it is very tiring but I can really make a statement that it is worth it. I enjoyed the walk very much, seeping the fresh air from the nature, breezing through the soft clean wind and smells the green leaves and trees around the reservoir.! oh I loike!

Well, life is happening in each way. life is a combination of love, hard work, sensitivity, toleration, kindness and supporting. and my life is very wonderful though there are always ups and downs that making me today.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

no title

i cant say this to no one.
i know i cant because no one will understand,
so i will write it.
at least i didn't say it verbally.
im afraid.
afraid of boredom in human.
particularly in a person.
in that person.
and also in myself.
i want the spark..
i want the cheers
i want the light
and i always want to be

Thursday, October 15, 2009

message for girlsss

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends."
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better."
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant,
Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone SMILE, another RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

the dizzyness

feeling very dizzy right now. maybe its the symptoms of fever i got from encik Ah Leng...
but I don't mind, at least I have some one to look after me if I fall sick now...

esok i will be off to Ipoh for geology field trip sponsored by UTP..


Monday, October 12, 2009

Athi 2004


1: Was 17years old, studying in Tunku Kurshiah College Seremban. Had been there for nearly 5years since 19th January 2000.The day I considered being an independant person.

2:Was a school prefect (in fact I was Leader for Fine and Discipline Biro in the Prefect Board) was good since I got the chance to stay in our so called luxurious room in Block G. With own toilet, own kitchenet and living room @ study room. Wearing white baju kurung with dark green kain sekolah and black lady like shoes. and Usually have to wear one whole suit of blazer with tie..(which make me hate it sbb terlalu panas)!

3:Have a group of close friends (Noor Shaheeza Isham, Nurul Zulaikha Sallihuddin, Soraya Azhar, Nurul Izzah Meor Abdullah, Nur Shahida Hadi, Nadiah As'ari, Nurul Aainaa Azmi and lots more..144 titans are my good friends after all!)

4:Aim of the year: Straight A's (without the teacher expecting me to be in the list) in SPM. Improve my english skill and be in Set 1 class for English lesson through out the year and get scholarship from goverment to further in medicine.

5:Activities in school: Athlet for 100m, 200m and join the 4x100 and 4x200m...once up to state level (in 2003), Innovation Team for school joining few competitions among SBP, INTEL etc. Presiden for Cyber Cafe Corner (poyo je rasa), Nakibah (lagi tak layak), State Theatre Group (2003) dan dot dot dot..(mls nak list plak..)

5: Activity jahat paling best: Panjat bumbung sickbay beberapa jam sebelum English Drama (ED), berfoya foya sebentar di atas bumbung sickbay ( I still keep the photos!), dikejar warden2 di pagi hari..kena kejar dengan penyapu lagi by cik Alia...
Stay up makan roti dgn tuna and dikejar puan romas and cik yati pastu lari menyorok dalam toilet and belakang pintu bersama ketua2 prefect yang lain...(this was cool gila)...
and paling best masa f1-f4 stay up using lights corridor..(reason why im wearing this thick spectacles)..

6: Bestest moment in TKC: lots to list. I even can write a novel on this. so, I conclude that year 2004's best thing was my SPM Result Day. I was crying and crying and crying cause I never ever believe I can do it. I was down with fever for the first two days of SPM (with the very killer paper Add Maths and also BM)...I was even expected to have dengue and have to go through blood tests! Alhamdulillah, it was the best part out of all sacrificing my whole teenage life in a place known as Bukit Merbah, living my loved ones of all, making my parents proud is the best thing I can do when I was there.

7: Aim not achieve:I want to do medic so deeply since I know what is ambition is. But, Allah had fated the best path for me. I was never excell well in Biology. which means I cant be a good doctor and there is no scholarship offering me doing medicine or something related to it. Engineering and Science appear to be part of my path later after 2004.and here I am as a geophysicist learning hard to get a better knowledge. I wanted to be part of hockey player. but i can;t.mak tak bagi.

8:Transforming into Adult phase 2004:I admit no one sees me as "huuu-haa" person in school. they may see me as nerd. as schema person. well, who cares what people said. What important to me, I do what I want to do. I be what I want to be. I do the right thing and lead the right path, InsyAllah.. and I learn a thing from a teacher whom used to be closed with me.. " wherenever you go, be humble. even if u know a thing well, say u don't know if there is someone would like to teach you on that matter cause u never know what new things u will learn from every person..."
and as i listen to that advice, i realize i am now an adult. i spend my teenage life in that school. i used to regret it cause my life is different from other teenagers in my hometown. but nothing to regret. this place lead to who i am today. it develops my identity, i shapen the way i view the world and it opens thousand of golden opportunity to me and brings greatest memory in my life!
-it was my years in boarding school that i love and i miss-
:sorry if this bored you, i just feeling flashing back memories sometime help me to analyze myself and see where i goes wrong and where to improve, insyaALLAH:

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Fathiyah 1999


1:Was 12 years old
2: Was in Sekolah Kebangsaan Juara, Cherok To'kun, Bt Mertajam, Penang (its ok if you feel weird reading my primary school name, Juara means the winner! and Cherok To'kun means place at the very end of a village)
3: Was a school prefect, wearing all blue baju kurung and blue hijab with white school shoes, so that goes my daily uniform.
4: Have a group of friends (close) such as Azirah Bidin, Emylia Hana Azmi, Nurzalila Ishak,, Aida Azwana Sabidi,Iskandar Yahaya, Hafifi Mohd Isa, Suharmi Talib, Hakimi Hussin, Taqiuddin Rashid, Nadirah Kamal, and few more whose I apologetically feel sorry for not remembering your name (but at least I can still remember few of your full names! amazing!)
5: Daily activities: Woke up at 6.15am (sometimes earlier to do early study or finishing my homework if I went for sport activities the previous day and too tired to get it done), get ready to school, prepare Imran's stuff for school, cycling with my Imran to school for 1.5km, attend school assembly and perform "mini maths contest" during the assembly.Attend classes and yes, I am nerd but not yet wearing spectacles.
6: Aim of the year (1999) : Excell in UPSR, Get 5A, get offer from Boarding School ( I used to determine to go to Sekolah Tun Fatimah in JB)
7: Sports activities through out the year: Netball (until state level, playing as Goal Defender (GD) or Goal Keeper (GK)); Track (100m, 200m, 4x100m,4x200m); Hockey
8: Total Siblings were only me, Imran and Amir...Izzat wasn't born yet.

9: Peak of the year: When I read my UPSR result on the board, I was shocked (3A 2B) WHAT? ask my best friend (Azirah) to have a look, she said 5A la Fathiyah! I said what??? Have a look again, and yes [Siti Nur Fathiyah Jamaludin, Angka Giliran:______ Keputusan: 5A]
And I run to my brother's class (2Biru), entering his class without the teacher's permission grab him, hug him and cry!!!! He asked, " Kakak gagal ke UPSR?"....My answer while kissing his forehead " Dak Abang, kakak tak gagal. Kakak happy ni, kakak dapat 5A" and he also kissed me back!
And the biggest part comes when I can't made my mind to further my secondary school so far away from my family (they are the only source of love and support for me at the moment) but due to my so called determination and 'keras hati' and 'degil xdgr ckp mak', and after my long lists of Pros and Contras living 420km away from family at the age of 13 yrs old, I choose a path that leads me to where I am today and thanks mak and ayah for spending so much money for that. (I realized earlier its $$$$ you spend running from Penang-Seremban every few months to visit me, paying my unbelievable school fees with ridiculous unnecessary fees while still have to support the other musketeers back in Penang)

Yes people, it just ordinary story that means a world to me. It is my memory. It is my life before and stay forever with me. Any day that I forget where I was before, I remember this. Any time I feel down, I remember, how long I have been in this journey. Any day I did a mistake that may lead to wrong path, I remember who were with me through the journey, and they are no one else except these five figures I missed so much every day of my life since I have so less time spending with them since I was 13! (My mum, My Dad, My Imran,My Amir and My Izzat) { Gosh, suddenly tears running down my cheeks}...
But this is the path I choose, the path that Allah's already plan for me and it always the best for me (I know, I believe)...and tq to those who read this =)

-to be continued:Athi 2004:-

Thursday, October 8, 2009

i'm lucky...

moment i won't forget


so much lucky..

in many wayss...

though sometime i don't realize..

but i'm thankful and glad...

i wont ask more ...

this is enough...

i will care for this for the whole of my life...

coz it is so precious and meanigful...

and it makes me feel very important in it's life..

and i yes, i'm happy =)

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

boots vs books or books vs boots?

LOL! no idea how to describe what kind of stress i'm having! first time in my 22 years life i'm facing the term "work stress"! and honestly speaking, i dun like it! that's it but i have to face it since this is the only money maker for me.

gosh! i thought working isn't that hard. i used to think work must be more fun than study and less stress than facing the examsss...but now i realized how much study give me more fun and more time for me to enjoy my favorite activities. though study means less money in my purse, but it also means less commitment and less dealing with people. but i guest, if i'm given a chance to further my master and phD soon, I will choose it definitely without any thought (maybe i will be thinking where and what major should I continue my master and phD starting from this moment). at the same time i will still happy to say yes to few important commitments in my life (such as my family and love one) and i will definitely send a letter to my boss saying how much i want to continue my study!

but life isn't that easy. its all about plan, managing the plan and be on the track. but its on our part, the Greatest Planner, Allah is the One who will give the ways and guide us along the track! Currently, having training in Singapore office doesn't sound more interesting for me since all the works and training make me stress, feel more stupid, losing my interest more in geophysics and keep stressing me that my interest is more to geology and environmental comparing to processing imaging stuff (i promise u that this job is no fun!)....except for the money part..(that's the only motivation I have to make me stay there apart from having my family and love one supporting me)...well, in the training class there are few master and phD student in geophysics which make me look a lot stupidier than the rest of the class. Some of them is very particular in every theoretical stuff, some of them understands very fast, some of them digest everything in a blink...and me??? oh well, i just pretending i understand and just follow the instruction without totally understand all the processing part!!!! crap kan saya ni? owh....

but, as i stated earlier (mcm buat statement ape la kan) is boots vs books! i still have some fun, happiness, courage, love, spirit and important things to think more than this training! i enjoy my current life. so much.sangat happy. sangat gembira. even i always want to freeze the moments i love and enjoy so much though i know i can;t ..time will pass by and things will move on flowing on the path that will lead us( me and u and all of us) to a destination we never know...

okay...pray for me so that i'm doing well both in work and life! daaaa~~~