Thursday, September 8, 2011

It's sad to hear that..but they just don't undestand

Lately, I have been crossed through words that make me feel sad 
and think how people think life is so easy peasy. The words are:--

1)" Ala, baru anak sorang dah susah nak bersosial dgn kawan-kawan"

2)"Don't you think your baby is taking away your social life?"

3) " Eh mmg bila dah kahwin tak kan ada masa eh nak lepak-lepak lepas kerja dgn kawan-kawan mcm dulu?"

Usually, when a friend of mine ask me this kind of questions, I will smile back and reply No-lah. I will not make a long dreaded statement to them. There is no use as none of them will truly understand the shoes I'm in now.
Friends, if you are married, then you will understand what is marriage means. 
Friends, if you have a child, then you will understand how to bring up a life. An amanah from Allah to you. Your zuriat. It is never the same with your single life. No matter either you are in long distance marriage or living under the same roof with your husband. Unless you are a reluctant wife, then maybe no difference in your single and married life.

The words " baru anak sorang dah susah nak social dgn kawan-kawan" is so mean. Do you have any idea what is the package you receive once you deliver a baby fresh from your womb? It's a combo of LOVE, AMANAH, RESPONSIBILITIES and most of it is a LIFE you have to take care. Ini bukan main-main, ada anak, senang2 boleh tinggalkan dan keluar bersuka-ria rira rira dgn kawan-kawan lepas kerja hingga tgh malam baru pulang. Even if you have a helper at home taking care of your baby, you will never have the heart to do so. Apatah lagi kalau baby tu minum susu ibu sahaja. 

Socialize after marriage (in my own dictionary) means spending more time with your family and extended family members. There are lots of hearts to take care now. There are more responsibilities on your shoulders compare when you are single. Thus, family always come first. 

I'm sorry to some extend that I can't join my friends to watch movies, or go shopping, or lepak-lepak at kopitiam or starbuck or burger king like before. I'm sorry that I can't make any sleepover just like before. But this is the life I have chose whole heartedly with sincere. And I never ever regret this. My social life revolves around my husband (syurga itu di bawah telapak kaki suami), my son (the amanah from Allah to me), my parents, my parents in-laws, my brothers, my sisters/brothers in-laws and relatives from both sides. There will be some time later on in life where we can gather and meet like before again (dengan izin Allah jika umur masih panjang dan masih sihat tubuh badan).

After all, you'll never understand this situation unless you are in my shoes. So please and please don't just sesuka hati berulang kali mengeluarkan ayat-ayat begini everytime I bumped into you. It somehow saddened me how the words can simply slipped off your tongue.


  1. pernah jumpa ramai orang yg try very hard nak convince that i made a mistake by getting married and have a child too early. menangkan je diorang, malas nak gaduh. truth is, wht i choose is the best decision i made so far. mmglah ada byk benda kena korban, tp we develop faster than ppl our age, diorg pun akan encounter apa yg kite alami cume lambat. jumpe kwn tu, raya-raya or kenduri kahwin nnt leh jumpe. kalo selalu sgt, bosan je xde bende dh nk catch up. dun worry sis, sebab tu orang yg dh kahwin n ada anak, ganjaran amalan lebih besar sbb lg byk yg dia kne korbankan. jgnkan nk lepak ngn kawan, nk baca qur'an pun kite kne letak extra effort berbanding org lain, kne manage mase bebtol and stuff. oh pjgnye komen...

  2. It's ok dear. Nanti2 bila diorg kawen and ader anak diorg akan faham.

    Just why not u yang jadi host kat umah. Buat makan2..ajak member2. Tgk movie. And ajak juga kawan2 yang yang dah kawen or yang dah ader anak. :)

  3. This entry is so interesting that I also write one in my blog, linking this entry.

    Memang mean, kan. Hanya orang yang sudah berkahwin je memahami betapa indah rasanya. ;)

  4. sy ibu baru.. hope dpt pgg amanah yg DIA bg dgn sebaiknye.. nasib ade org2 yang memahami.
    bile bace entry ni.. baru sedar.. hidup akan byk berubah slps ini.. =)


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